Persuasion is often the tool that makes the difference in selling an idea, in conducting a project or simply the conviction which movie your class will see in the movies.

The book Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive (my translation totally free: Yes 50 scientifically proven ways to be persuasive), written by Dr. Noah Goldstein, Steve Martin and Robert Cialdini shows how to be more efficient in this art.

On a flight to London, Steve shared with Guy Kawasaki the five best ways to be persuasive. Read below:

1. Be the first to give. Studies show that we are more easily persuaded when someone offers us something before. We are more open to help a colleague at work when he helped us in something before. We are kinder smiled when the other person.
2. Do not offer many alternatives. Is the number of products or design choices, we frustrate many possibilities. Many end up confusing options and decrease the willingness to make or adhere to any idea.
3. Argue against his own interest. Trust is a fundamental fact in persuasion. The surest way to be understood as an honest person to admit is a little weakness in his argument, product or business before reporting the strongest point.
4. Losses are more persuasive than the gains. Instead of telling your audience what they will gain from your product or service, research shows that people are more strongly persuaded if you show them what they lose in not adopting the your idea. In 2003, Oldsmbile increased sales even with the company investing less in advertising and design of new improvements. How? General Motors decided to stop manufacturing it due to low sales. As a result, people began searching the car even more, because the news that he's no longer available. Customers do not want to lose the model.
5. Make people feel they are already taking to achieve the goal. A car wash has doubled the number of customers to change their offer of "buy and earn an 8 washes" to "buy 10 washes, a win and we will credit you two ".

In the book, the authors show that persuasion is a science and that can be learned. It is not a skill that few are born. The research generated a set of rules where you can learn to be a more ethical and efficient in persuasion.

Discover how persuasive you are doing research for 5 min in www.myyesscore.com .

I'm sure you'll learn a lot about yourself and more consciously use this skill.

Source: American Express Open Forum .

Anyone who resents and fights for everything and anything, is the bearer of an inferiority complex. DeRose

I just returned from a season of six weeks in New York. One of the things that impressed me most is that people ask permission, deculpas and say thanks for everything, but for all the same.

Near where I stayed (the place where I felt so well that he called home), there was a grocery store I went to 24 for small purchases. As the Christmas season was approaching, they began to sell the trees to be decorated, that there are natural. Were exposed on the outside, occupying a part of the sidewalk, which limited the passage of a person and half a time.

Empire State Building seen from Top of the Rock. Photo: Nilzo Andrade Jr.

Whenever someone shared with me the ride tight, apologized. Not to have touched me or done anything to justify the request. It was disturbing because, in a certain way, the free path of the other. If we were talking on the street, occupying the sidewalk, and someone needs to get through, would excuse or apology. If I turned back and someone was blocking my way (!), Apologize again. If someone needs to go through your freight while researching something in the supermarket, asked permission. And the most beautiful, without being subservient. All winning with poise and polite.

Today I went to the market near my home in Curitiba. I live in a neighborhood very well, which means that people who attend this type of establishment are a good cultural level. The regulars pushed me, cut the front and blocked the passage. You know how many apologies, and thank you license? No. Lack of education? No, they are individuals who have access to good schools.

When I read an article today DeRose , came an insight. We Brazilians have an inferiority complex. He keeps us from being polished. He makes us aggressive and insolent when walking on the sidewalk, by occupying the platitudes and also driving. We were colonized and still not get rid of this feeling. For us, apologize, and thank license is an act of kneeling. We are educated to be lower than with people.

Of course there are exceptions, you may think. But it would be nice if the exception was the opposite?

We are at a historic moment in our political and economic projection is leading us to the level of great savings. Next year, we will contribute to raise the average global GDP growth. Studies show that we will be the third world economy in 2050. It will be so beautiful if we can be all that the world using the words thank you, excuse me and excuse me.

Excuse me, now I'll eat my rice and beans with French fries . After all, I love this country.

It's really an art postpone gratification. According to Joachim de Posada , this is the main factor for success.

A professor of Stanford made ​​the following experiment: a 4 year old was left alone in a room with a marshmallow. The Prince was the challenge of going without food delicacy for 15 min. Upon returning to the room, the teacher would give sweet one second if the goal was achieved.

What they observed that two out of three children ate the marshmallow before the return of the teacher. The other third would take the desired object and smelled, walked around, showed anxiety, played with other things, but not eating.

As part of this experiment, the teacher noted, 15 years after that 100% of children who could not wait to eat the marshmallow were more successful in their attempts than those who ate it. They had good performance in school and in sports, get along with parents, friends and teachers.

Since most children who could not wait had problems in school or even abandoned. They had bad grades and not so healthy relationships.

In the video below, you can see the repetition of the experiment made with Colombian children conducted by Joachim de Posada. It's hilarious to see the children's behavior to meet the challenge. You will laugh!

To learn more, read the book Do not Eat the Marshmallow ... Yet , where Joachim explains the importance of self-discipline and persistence to achieve success.

This is the Passion, who is in Itaim in Sao Paulo, because Aunt Zilda is fictitious.

Many times we are in doubt as to call the attention of some subordinate. It is a very common question, which only invalidates the experience.

To help tell the story below, based on a story repeated by DeRose whenever you want to train professionals who teach their method, which I am a proud representative.

Aunt Zilda was the owner of a home cooking restaurant in the center of a big city. It was a simple place, with tables and iron chairs, towels with rubber stamps, fruit, snack and fans up to half of the wall tiles. At lunchtime, workers and ordinary people were lining up to eat the dish made ​​the day. In addition, she blew deliver some pots in the region, it was so tasty food. Even some big business had brought her food.

With many extra pounds, some more wrinkles and gray hair, skin pale and strong brown eyes, Aunt Zilda treated everyone with kindness. As even an aunt. Many said that, rather than for food, went there for her. Firm, strong, caring. He gave up scolding the customers who asked for credit, because with it did not have this kind of talk. But I loved telling stories, very funny about his past on the farm. She was captivating.

It was she who hired all the helpers. Kitchen and buffet, as she called it. To them, she was a mother. I pretended I had not seen the small errors in the end many were very young and were learning to work. But if they made ​​a mistake or worse than angry customers, then yes she was a beast. And woe to those who came late. England did not know, but his punctuality was British.

One day, Nelson made ​​one of those. He was serving a dish for a customer, when let out a sneeze over the food. Zilda aunt saw it and was possessed. Looking fimemente for Nelson, at the same time with a smile that only aunts have approached him and said: "Nelson, my son! (All were for her children), Auntie Zilda saw what you did. I do not want that to happen again so as you food contaminated with microbes of the customer. I knew he could get sick from that! In a next time, Aunt Zilda going to be tougher on you. If this continues, you're on the street. Got it, my son? Oh, and try to throw this food away and wash the dishes. "

The Nelson did not know I could not sneeze over the food, after all he did was so at home and nobody said anything. But Aunt Zilda explained so brotherly that he understood at the time. Embarrassed, he looked at Aunt Zilda eyebrows down and said, "Sorry, Aunt. That will not happen anymore. "

And so it went. Nelson continued perfecting, despite some quarrel here and there. But he was treated with respect, as he had never been treated. Aunt Zilda for him was not an aunt, was a mother.

Even asked to call it that. Aunt Zilda said I'd think.

When I was a child, noted that some colleagues were going well and others not so much in their school grades. In pure child, I understood why: it is that some are adapted to the system and not others. I was sure that those who took low notes were not stupid, after all I lived with them beyond the walls of the Educational Establishment. But the big question that remains is: how a child could see it and the adults who gave lessons and ran the institution does not? Why there was a sincere concern to trigger an action to make school interesting for everyone, so all went well?

When I say go and I do not mean just good grades, but especially knowledge applied to generate life. Yes, because everything we learn in school, less to live. Nobody teaches us to live on. We learn by leaps and bounds, with a succession of errors that look smarter not to repeat. But how to change it?

I learned from this brief speech by Sir Ken Robinson on TED Talks a few days ago. Highly intelligent person and a very British humor that I like (because mood denotes little development of synapses), he points to the cultivation of creativity as an output. And I found it very interesting when he says that all children are born artists, but it disappears much later adulthood.

What a world we want to leave if we do not take education seriously?

We all know that human beings follow trends. We copy the way people dress, walk, talk, behave. This is very pronounced in adolescence, when the need of being accepted is more intense. But to what extent this trend to be the same affect us? Do you think human beings are capable of giving a wrong answer, even though the correct one, just to keep the other?

In the 50s of last century, Solomon Asch conducted a series of experiments that would prove the human tendency to follow the opinion of others.

The experiment

He did the following: several people were placed in a room with the goal of making a vision test. Variations in the figure below were shown to the group and after each one, wondered which of the lines (A, B or C) was equal to the left. The group was composed of nine people, eight of which were actors, ie after a few rounds giving the correct answer, they started to give the same incorrect answer. They were part of the game without the other person know. Half the time people said the line was smaller and half the line was greater than that presented. The participant was always the sixth guinea pig to respond.

Asch lines.

Oberservando the figure above, obviously realizes that the correct answer is C. You just answer wrong if under the influence of some hallucinogenic. Note that there was being asked to observe a complex drawing or situation to be interpreted.

The discovery

The results surprised even Solomon Asch:

• 50% of people gave the same answer, following the group, even though he was wrong.
• only 25% of people refused to give the wrong answers.
• in total, the compliance rate was 33%.

Asch people interviewed after the experiment. The reported feelings are very similar to those that already have you felt:

• all felt anxiety, fear of disapproval by others.
• most said they knew the correct line, but felt that the group was correct.
• some said they followed the group do not clash, even though the group was wrong.
• a few said it was seeing the line of the same size appointed by the group.

Being conformist or not: that is the question

This Shakespearean dilemma accompanies us every day. There are times to act as the group is a blessing, a trap in the other. Much of social life depends on this natural act, otherwise our lives would be impractical. Compliance is inherent to human beings and, as you should be aware of all their abilities and gifts, must be more aware of this too.

It's up to you to decide how to act. But, that is adequate, it is necessary to self-knowledge, self-study and self-observation. You might be thinking that is a non-conformist, to find other non-conformists and act the same way they do.

And for you who leads teams, it's important to know that their followers may be following what you say just to conform. It is important that you give voice to them. Perhaps some of them do not have the answer that your company needs to make the turn?

Below is a contemporary example of the Asch experiment.

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Which leaders will form when a schoolteacher earns so little? I do not know if you ever asked this question, but it should.

UNESCO published a comparative study with the salaries of elementary school teachers from 38 countries. We were in third place, losing to Peru and Indonesia, the worst since the salary. The country-destination for surfers scored U $ 1,624 per year, while the Incas U $ 4,752. The country's football almost lost to the Peruvians, with U.S. $ 4,818,. Well away from the average of developed countries, U.S. $ 33,209 per year.

Make a comparison. A Judge of the Supreme Court (which has the title of Minister in our country) receives U.S. $ 148 000 per year. Who is head of account noted that a person trained to prosecute crimes, a reactive function, earns almost 30 times more than one person trained to educate, a preventive function. We have a system that invests less in the professional that could decrease the work of the professional who is there to resolve things that have happened. We pay more to change the past than to look ahead.

To be a teacher, you need to call. In a system like ours, teachers end up migrating to other native functions to a dignified life. With a measly salary, move away from the goal of their lives. Thus, the teaching profession tends to attract professionals who either did not get a better position in the market, or did not have jurisdiction to do so.

Far from being simplistic and deterministic, it could be a developed country if the situation were different. The low salary of teachers indicates the total lack of priority in investing in education since the time we try to stop being a colony. It is a paradox invest in punishment, the court, when we have a country so ignorant. We encourage crime by not prioritizing education.

We pay judges well and safe to build temples worthy exercise of their functions as teachers dwindle eating porridge vandalized schools with students who threaten them with impunity.

Our country needs to implement the policy of the judges in schools, so they are as safe as imposing and forums. That teachers have the status of Ministers. We can finally assume the role of trainers of the future leaders of Brazil manly. If not, there is a sense of mission.

See here an example of a school that I find interesting, not only for their professional value, but the proposal of its educational process.