Persuasion is often the tool that makes the difference in selling an idea, to conduct a project, or simply in the belief that his film crew will see in the movies.

The book Yes! 50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive (my translation totally free: Yes! 50 scientifically proven ways to be persuasive be) written by Dr. Noah Goldstein, Steve Martin and Robert Cialdini shows how to be more efficient in this art.

On a flight to London, Steve shared with Guy Kawasaki five best ways to be persuasive. Read below:

1. Be the first to give. Studies show that we are more easily persuaded when someone offers us something before. We are more open to helping a colleague at work when he helped us in something before. We are more gentle when the other person smile.
2. Do not offer many alternatives. Let the number of products or design options, many possibilities in defeating. Many options confound and diminish the willingness to make or adhere to some idea.
3. Argue against his own interest. Trust is a fundamental fact in persuasion. The only real way to be understood as an honest person is admitting a small weakness in his argument, product or business before reporting the strongest point.
4. Losses are more persuasive than the gains. Instead of telling your audience what they will gain from your product or service, research shows that people are more strongly persuaded if you show them what they lose in not adopting the your idea. In 2003, Oldsmbile increased sales even with the company investing less in advertising and design for further improvements. How? General Motors decided to stop manufacturing it due to low sales. As a result, people began to search the car even more, given the news that he would no longer be available. Customers do not want to lose the model.
5. Make people feel they already go to achieve the goal. A car wash has doubled the number of customers to change their offer of "buy eight washes and get one" to "buy 10 washes, a win and we'll credit you two ".

In the book, the authors show that persuasion is a science and that can be learned. It is not a skill that few were born. The research resulted in a series of rules where you can learn to be a more ethical and efficient in persuasion.

Discover how persuasive you are doing research for 5 min in www.myyesscore.com .

I'm sure you'll learn a lot about yourself and more conscious use of this ability.

Source: American Express Open Forum .

Who is offended and fight for everything and anything, is the bearer of an inferiority complex. DeRose

I just returned from a season of six weeks in New York. One of the things that impressed me most is that people ask permission, apologize for and say thanks for everything, but for everything yourself.

Near where I stayed (the place where I felt so well that even called home), there was a 24 hour shop that I frequented for small purchases. As the Christmas season was approaching, they began to sell the trees to be decorated, there are natural. Were exposed on the outside, occupying a part of the sidewalk, which limited the passage to a person and half a time.

Empire State Building seen from Top of the Rock. Photo: Nilzo Andrade Jr.

Whenever someone shared a tight ride with me, apologized. Not to have touched me or done anything to justify the request. It was disturbing because, in some way, free way to another. If we were talking in the street, occupying the sidewalk, and someone needs to go in the middle, asked permission or apology. If I turned back and someone was blocking my way (!), Apologized again. If someone needs to go through their freight while researching something in the supermarket, asked permission. And the most beautiful: without being subservient. All with winning attitude and polite.

Today I went to the market near my house in Curitiba. I live in a neighborhood very well, which means that people who attend this type of establishment being a good cultural level. The regulars pushed me, they cut the front and blocked the passage. You know how many apologies, and thank you leave? None. Lack of education? No, they are individuals who had access to good schools.

When I read an article today DeRose , came an insight. We Brazilians have an inferiority complex. It keeps us from being polished. He makes us aggressive and insolent when walking on sidewalks, to occupy the common places and also while driving. We were colonized and yet not got rid of this feeling. For us, apologize, and thank license is an act of kneeling. We feel inferior by being polite to people.

Of course there are exceptions, you may think. But it would be nice if the exception was the opposite?

We are at a historical moment in which our political and economic projection is leading us to the level of great economy. Next year we will contribute to raise the average world GDP growth. Studies show that we are a third world economy in 2050. It will be so nice if we can be all that the world using the words thank you, sorry and excuse me.

Excuse me, now I'll eat my rice and beans and fried potatoes . After all, I love this country.

It's really an art to postpone gratification. According to Joachim de Posada , this is the main factor for success.

A professor of Stanford made the following experiment: a 4 year old was left alone in a room with a marshmallow. The challenge of infant was not eat the candy for 15 min. Upon returning to class, the teacher would give one second sweet if the goal was reached.

What was noted that two of every three children ate the marshmallow before the return of the teacher. The other third would take the desired object and smelled, walked around, showing anxiety, playing with other things, but not eat.

Continuing with the experiment, the professor noted, 15 years after, that 100% of children who could not wait to eat the marshmallow were more successful in their attempts than those who ate it. They had good performance in school and in sports-related well with parents, friends and teachers.

Already the majority of children who could not wait had problems in school or even abandoned. They had bad grades and not so healthy relationships.

In the video below, you may see a repetition of the experiment done with children in Colombia conducted by Joachim de Posada. It's hilarious to see the behavior of children facing the challenge. You will laugh!

To learn more, read the book Do not Eat the Marshmallow ... Yet , where Joachim explains the importance of self-discipline and persistence to achieve success.

This is the Passion, who is in Itaim in Sao Paulo, because of Aunt Zilda is fictitious.

Many times we are in doubt as to draw the attention of a subordinate. It is a very common question, that only experience settles.

To help tell the story below, based on a story repeated by DeRose whenever she wants to train professionals to teach his method, of which I am a proud representative.

Aunt Zilda was the owner of a home cooking restaurant in the center of a big city. It was a simple place with tables and chairs, iron, rubber towels with prints of fruit, snack fans and tile halfway up the wall. At lunchtime, workers and ordinary people lined up to eat the dish made the day. In addition, she asked to deliver some pans in the region, which was so tasty food. Even some big businessman was told to come to her food.

With many extra pounds, some gray hairs and several wrinkles, skin pale and strong brown eyes, Tia Zilda treated everyone with kindness. Even as an aunt. Many said that, rather than for food, went there for her. Firm, strong, loving. Dava scolded by customers who asked us credit, because with it did not have this kind of talk. But I loved telling stories, very funny about his past on the farm. She was captivating.

It was she who hired all the helpers. Kitchen and buffet, as she called it. To them, she was a mother. Pretended that he saw small errors in the end many were very young and were learning to work. But if they commit a more serious error or that upset customers, then yes it was a beast. And woe to those who arrived late. England did not know, but its timeliness was British.

One day, Nelson had one of those. Was serving a dish to a customer when he let out a sneeze over food. Zilda aunt saw it and was possessed. Looking fimemente for Nelson, while with a smile that only the aunts are, approached him and said: "Nelson, my son! (All for her were children), Auntie Zilda see what you did. I do not want that happening again so as you contaminated with microbes from the food shopper. I knew he could get sick from that! In a next time, Auntie Zilda will be harder with you. If this continues, you're on the street. Understand, my son? Oh, and try to throw this food away and wash the dishes. "

The Nelson did not know I could not sneeze over the food, after all he did was so at home and nobody said anything. But Aunt Zilda he explained that he understood so brotherly time. Embarrassed, he looked at Aunt Zilda with eyebrows down and said, "Sorry, Auntie. That will not happen anymore. "

And I did. Nelson continued perfecting, despite some hard time here and there. But he was treated with respect, as it had never been treated. Tia Zilda for him was not an aunt: she was a mother.

Until asked to call it that. Aunt Zilda said he would think.

When I was a child, noted that some colleagues were doing well and others not so much in their school grades. Purity child, I understood why: it is that some are adapted to the system and not others. I was sure that those who took low notes were not dumb, after all I lived with them beyond the walls of the primary school. But the big question that remained was: how a child could see it and the adults who gave lessons and ran the institution not? Why there was a sincere concern to trigger an action to make school interesting for everyone, so all went well?

When I say go and I do not mean only good grades, but mostly to generate knowledge applied to life. Yes, because we learned it in school, less to live. Nobody teaches how to live on. We learn by leaps and bounds, with a succession of errors that the most intelligent people try not to repeat. But how to change it?

I am aware of this short talk by Sir Ken Robinson on TED Talks for a few days. A very intelligent person and a very English humor that pleases me (because bad mood shows little development of nerve synapses), it points the cultivation of creativity as an outlet. And I found very interesting when he says that all children are born artists, but long after it disappears into adulthood.

What a world we want to leave if we do not take education seriously?

We all know that humans follow trends. We copy the way people dress, walk, talk, behave. That is very pronounced during adolescence, when the need for acceptance is more intense. But to what extent this trend to be equal affect us? Do you think human beings are capable of giving a wrong answer, even knowing the correct, just to follow others?

In the 50s of last century, Solomon Asch conducted a series of experiments that would prove the human tendency to follow the opinion of others.

The experiment

He did the following: several people were placed in a room with the goal of making a vision test. Variations were shown in the figure below the group, and after each one, she wondered which of the lines (A, B or C) was equal to the left. The group consisted of nine people, including eight who were actors, ie after a few rounds giving the correct answer, they started to give the same incorrect answer. They were part of the game without the other person know. Half the time they spoke that the line was smaller and half the line was greater than that presented. The participant was always the guinea pig sixth to respond.

The lines of Asch.

Oberserve the figure above, obviously realizes that the correct answer is C. You only answer wrong if under the influence of some hallucinogen. Note that was not being asked to observe a complex design or a situation to be interpreted.

The discovery

The results surprised even Solomon Asch:

• 50% of people gave the same answer, following the group, even though he was wrong.
• only 25% of people refused to give the wrong answers.
• overall, the compliance rate was 33%.

Asch interviewed people after the experiment. The reported feelings are very similar to those that already have you felt:

• all felt anxiety, fear of disapproval by others.
• most said they knew what the correct line, but felt that the group was correct.
• some said they followed the group to not deviate, even though the group was wrong.
• A small number said it was seeing the line of the same size appointed by the group.

Be a conformer or not: that is the question

This Shakespearean dilemma accompanies us every day. There are times to act as the group is a blessing, in others a trap. Much of social life depends on this natural act, otherwise our lives would be impractical. Compliance is inherent to human beings and, as you should be aware of all their skills and gifts, must be more attentive to this as well.

It's up to you to decide how to act. But that is adequate, it is necessary to self-knowledge and self-observation autoestudo. You may even be thinking it's a nonconformist, to find other non-conformists and act just like them.

And to you who leads teams, it's important to know that their followers may be following what you say just to conform. It is important that you give voice to them. Maybe some of them do not have the answer that your company needs to make the turn?

Below is a contemporary example of the Asch experiment.

[Vodpod id = ExternalVideo.819135 & w = 425 & h = 350 & fv =]

Leaders who will form when a schoolteacher earns so little? I do not know if you ever asked this question, but should.

UNESCO published a comparative study with the salaries of elementary school teachers from 38 countries. We stayed in third place, losing to Peru and Indonesia the worst post of the salary. The country-destination for surfers scored U $ 1,624 per year, while the Incas U $ 4,752. The country's football almost lost to the Peruvians, to U $ 4,818,. Far from the average of developed countries, U $ 33,209 per year.

Make a comparison. A Judge of the Supreme Court (which has the title of minister in our country) gets $ 148 000 per year. Who does bill heads realized that a trained person to judge crimes, a reactive function, earns almost 30 times more than a person trained to educate, a preventive function. We have a system that invests less in training that could lessen the work of professionals that exists to resolve things that have happened. We pay more to change the past than to look ahead.

To be a teacher, you have a vocation. In a system like ours, native teachers end up migrating to other functions for a dignified life. With a pittance salary, move away from the goal of their lives. Thus, the teaching profession tends to attract professionals who either did not achieve a better position in the market, or did not have jurisdiction to do so.

Far from being simplistic and deterministic, we could already be a developed country if the situation were different. The low salary of teachers indicates the total lack of priority in investing in education since the time we try to stop being a colony. It is a paradox in investing punishment in juvenile court when we have a country so ignorant. We encourage crime by failing to prioritize education.

We pay judges well and built temples for safe exercise worthy of their duties as teachers dwindle eating porridge in school vandalized with students who threaten them without punishment.

Our country needs to implement the policy of the judges in schools, so they are as safe as imposing and forums. That teachers have the status of Ministers. We can, finally, assume the role of trainers of future leaders of Brazil manly. If not, there is a sense of mission.

See here an example of a school that I find interesting, not only enhance their professional, but the proposal to their educational process.